La Grande Visite: John Cooper Clarke And Friends

Harrogate Theatre

by Susan Darlington

Putting the lyrical gymnasts amid the athletes, a "peloton of poetry" is brought to Harrogate Theatre as part of La Grande Visite, celebrating the Tour de France stage in Yorkshire.

Inspired by the drama and romance of the race as it sprints into the hometown of Mark Cavendish’s mother, John Cooper Clarke and friends stage a one-off set of cycling-related verse.

Some of those on the bill take the remit more seriously than others — Luke Wright and Fast Show comedian Simon Day appearing as Geoffrey Allerton respectively — throw in tokenistic rhymes about Lance Armstrong and "cycle-short bulges." 

Mike Garry, meanwhile, odes the event’s celebratory spirit by claiming that “The love of your land / Is like the love of your mamma,” while Phill Jupitus, in his Porky the Poet guise, goes even more tangental with an inspired fantasy poem about Jeremy Clarkson, "a man who doesn’t like cyclists — or foreigners."

It’s down to local man Earl Broad to get into the full spirit of the show, creating an affectionate pastiche of Alan Bennett’s Talking Heads that turns the playwright’s trademark dry humour into a slow solemnisation of the event. 

Former national road race champion Matt Stephens as spoof Belgian pundit Kenny Van Vlaminck also embraces the atmosphere by appearing in conversation with compere Johnny Green to discuss telekinetic gear change inventions and sock puppets of Bradley Wiggins.

The theme of the evening clearly hasn’t reached headliner John Cooper Clarke, who machine guns through an everyday set that includes Gcse staple I Wanna Be Yours along with other old favourites including Beasley Street and Evidently Chickentown.

More raconteur than punk performance poet, the Bard of Salford’s verse is nowadays almost an interruption to his well-honed but still laugh-out-loud preambles about weight gain and his swear box doubling as his pension fund.

Despite mislaid pages and moments of car crash hesitation, he’s easily the star of the evening and with a few carefully chosen words he steers the poetry peloton to an easy victory.