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Nov
2016
Saturday 26th
posted by Paddy McGuffin in Features

The Paddy McGuffin column


Hello and welcome back to the countdown to the end of days and things seem to be shaping up nicely for the apocalypse.

The beast has risen, the seas are beginning to boil and the Doomsday Clock is inching ever closer to midnight.
The key players are all coming into position.

A certifiable psychopath, racist, liar and fraud is ensconced in the White House. A man so criminally stupid that he rejects global warming as “fake” but claims his hair is real.

It takes a spectacular lack of self-awareness to deny man-made climate change when you see the devastating impact of deforestation and desertification each and every time you take your hat off.

But of course it’s not just Trump who is bringing us ever closer to mutually assured destruction but his cronies and we saw the calibre of some of them this week.

Take Trump’s nominee for attorney general, Senator Jeff Sessions, for example.

This is a man who could very well become the most senior law officer in the US yet has a long and inglorious track record of egregiously offensive conduct including referring to a black lawyer as “boy” and who once said that he had thought the Ku Klux Klan, and I quote him directly here, “were OK until I found out they smoked pot.”

So the murders, lynchings and overt hating of black people was OK but jazz cigarettes are a no-no apparently.

Sessions has claimed he was “joking.”

Well, sickening, but if we are to take his claim at face value it does rather raise the question of what will happen the next time he feels an urge to flex his funny bone.

His comment regarding the KKK also takes on a whole new aspect when you recall that within hours of Trump’s election the racist group’s Grand Wizard sought to take a large portion of the credit with no discernible demurral from Trump at al.

Then there is one Mike Pompeo who has been offered the somewhat important role of chief of the CIA.

If anything Pompeo makes Sessions look good by comparison. He was elected to Congress in 2010 as part of the lunatic Tea Party fringe which gave us such political luminaries as, er, Sarah Palin.

While a candidate he was forced to apologise for a tweet his campaign sent out promoting a gutter press article accusing his Indian-American Democrat opponent as “a turban topper” and urged the electorate to “Vote American.”

But it doesn’t stop there. Following the Boston marathon bombings Pompeo falsely claimed that US Islamic organisations had failed to condemn terrorism and that this made them “potentially complicit.”

Between Trump, Sessions and Pompeo one can’t help feeling this must be a very worrying time for the minority ethnic population.

It’s like Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Selma never happened.

Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, serial despot-botherer and “pretty straight guy” Tony Blair has yet again resurfaced to say that he intends to take an active role in politics again.

Blair claimed he cannot return to front-line politics as there was “too much hostility” and parts of the media would move to destroy mode.”

Always nice to get a name check from a war criminal.

But with the spectacular arrogance we have come to know and loathe he said he is so “dismayed” by the current state of Western politics that he intends to play a significant role behind the scenes in shaping the political landscape.

Jesus wept! Is the apocalypse not coming quickly enough for you Tony?

He really is Satan’s little helper isn’t he.

Mind you, so deluded is he that I’m sure he sees himself as being handed a harp and his own cloud when judgement day finally arrives.

Somehow I get the feeling that in the highly unlikely event of there being a heaven there might be other plans in store for him. But then they do say the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

And, as if all that weren’t enough, yesterday saw the now annual orgy of gratuitous consumerism and avarice that is Black Friday, or looting practise as this column prefers to call it.

As if we hadn’t had enough of crass US institutions over the last 18 months.

If there is one thing that says the build up to Armageddon is well and truly underway — and that it might not necessarily be a bad thing — it is the sight of rapacious hordes descending like ravaging locusts on shops and stores throughout the land in a frenzy of greed and cupidity.

I shall leave you with a quote from the wonderfully surreal US comic Emo Philips: “I’m not sure if I was put on this earth for a reason but I’m fairly confident I’ll be taken off of it for one.”

I know just how he feels.

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