Apply online. Get shortlisted. Buy a suit. Bullshit your way through the interview using non-sequitur as a route to saying nothing to contradict the fake CV. Bingo. Buy a car. Bye bye buses. Buy into the lie that the Arms-length Management Organisation you are now local manager for is not a job creation scheme for cowboy builders. Take your first bribe. Buy a bigger car. Wear hi-viz. Pretend to drive a JCB for the photo op with the housing minister. Smile. Buy a dental plan. Private healthcare. To reconcile your conscience, buy a seat on the council. Your vote counts. Helping local communities prosper. End quote. Buy a flat in a tower block. Rent it out. It's on a higher floor. That view. Those sundowns set the place on fire.
Al McClimens has just completed the MA Creative Writing programme at Sheffield Hallam University. He is also a teacher and researcher on intellectual disability matters.