Failing Prime Minister David Cameron attempted a cynical repackaging of his millionaires' coalition today.
He announced a "major" reshuffle of ministers, but left his hard core of Cabinet buddies intact.
Deeply unpopular Chancellor George Osborne, who was booed on Monday by thousands of spectators at the Paralympics, remains in his Downing Street bunker.
Also untouched by the reshuffle are fanatical Education Secretary Michael Gove, Foreign Secretary William Hague and Home Secretary Theresa May.
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan-Smith retained his position after stubbornly telling Mr Cameron that he would not be moved.
In a snub to anti-sleaze campaigners, Mr Cameron promoted Murdoch-tainted culture secretary Jeremy Hunt to the key post of Health Secretary in charge of the assault on the NHS.
Mr Hunt is a believer in homeopathy who in 2009 branded the NHS "no longer relevant" and called for it to be dismantled.
Andrew Lansley, who presided over the shambles surrounding the Health and Social Care Act, was moved from health secretary to Leader of the Commons.
Disgraced Lib Dem David Laws was resurrected in the dual role of Education Minister and Cabinet Office minister, despite his Cabinet resignation two years ago over an expenses scandal.
Bumbling bon viveur Ken Clarke was ditched as justice secretary. He now holds the vague title of Minister Without Portfolio, charged by Mr Cameron with roving about Whitehall as a "wise head."
Mr Clarke was replaced as justice secretary by former employment minister Chris Grayling, who now enters the Cabinet.
Sacked from the Cabinet were Commons leader Sir George Young, Welsh secretary Cheryl Gillan, environment secretary Caroline Spelman and solicitor general Edward Garnier.
Irascible former merchant banker Andrew Mitchell, known as "Thrasher" while at Rugby school, became the new chief whip charged with forcing rebellious Tory backbenchers into line.
He has admitted hero-worshipping Margaret Thatcher. "To me she was a goddess," he confessed. "I used to stand stiffly to attention and hope she would pass by."
Ex-miner Patrick McLoughlin, who scabbed during the 1984-85 strike, has been transferred from chief whip to replace Justine Greening as Transport Secretary.
Ms Greening had strongly opposed a third runway at Heathrow. She will stay in the Cabinet as International Development Secretary.
Tory party chair Baroness Warsi was sacked, but will attend Cabinet in her new role as Foreign Office Minister and Minister for Faith and Communities.
Labour MP Dennis Skinner said the British people were "fed up to the back teeth with this coalition.
"The only answer is not a ministerial reshuffle, not a changing of the deckchairs on the Titanic, but a general election so that the people can reshuffle the whole pack."
Labour shadow Cabinet Office minister Michael Dugher dubbed it "the no-change reshuffle" from an out-of-touch and failing government.
"Jeremy Hunt, the man who broke the ministerial code and failed to stand up to News Corporation, is now in charge of the NHS, our most cherished national institution," he added.
Health campaigner Grahame Morris MP said Mr Hunt was just as "inept" as Mr Lansley. "If anything, he is even more of a privatiser," he warned.
Among cabinet ministers staying in place are Defence Secretary Philip Hammond, Scottish Secretary Michael Moore and Business Secretary Vince Cable.
Promotions include former housing minister Grant Shapps to party chairman and Maria Miller to Culture Secretary and Minister for Women and Equalities.
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