Rocks are being overturned all over the country as the inhabitants slither from the four corners of this septic isle to converge on unsuspecting towns and cities.
It can mean only one thing - conference season is here.
In predictable but despicable fashion the Tories have been ratcheting up their hate-filled rhetoric and getting their digs in at their dual bugbears of human rights and equality in advance.
Presumably lest they become so overcome with righteous fervour at their booze-up in Brum that they lose the power of speech.
But then what do you expect from a pig but a grunt?
And speaking of swine... step forward Calderdale Council's bigot in residence Roger Taylor, who spewed forth odious missives to a Bradford-based civil liberties group in a scattergun attack on them, the Hillsborough report, the Stephen Lawrence Inquiry...
Not content with having sown rancour on these issues he then added his expert opinions on race, adding that most terrorists are Muslim (which might have come as some surprise to the Irish) and that the vast majority of those involved in last August's riots were black.
Neither of these claims is even remotely true but then that's never stopped a Tory from saying anything has it?
About the only group he didn't have a go at was the disabled, but then the government and Atos are already doing that.
And speaking of ignorant comments from Tories, Cameron outdid himself this week at the UN - condemning those with blood on their hands in the Middle East and praising the Arab Spring democracies while blatantly flogging weapons and armoured cars to the gore-drenched Saudi and Bahraini regimes so they can brutally repress, er, democratic protesters.
Then, apparently thinking his ego had not been inflated enough, he opted to go on the Letterman show and promptly got a puncture.
Ironically if he had put in a performance like that during one of his government's much-vaunted citizenship tests he would have been deported.
It was hardly surprising that he didn't know what Magna Carta meant. It's about civil liberties, and if he has his way they won't exist any more.
Like the pompous teenager he obviously was it was a topic worthy of dismissing, like algebra or calculus, as irrelevant and not worth learning.
After all when you're one of the ruling classes human rights are an inconvenience not a necessity.
Can't spell Habeas Corpus? Abolish it.
Never mind that in doing so you are eradicating 800 years of open justice and eroding the very foundations of the British legal system because it's only the proles who need a fair legal system and they're obviously guilty.
Which in a roundabout way brings us to the Lib Dems and their knees-up by the sea.
The coalition stooges attempted to put on a jolly facade but at times their shindig in Brighton had the air of a doomsday cult on the appointed day of the Apocalypse.
Clegg's proselytising about taking them to a new promised land may have been meant to sound like Moses but came across more like David Koresh or Jim Jones.
All that was missing was poisoned Kool-aid and a charismatic but unhinged preacher. In fact anyone with charisma.
Rather than cyanide-based beverages it appeared that Mogadon-laced Horlicks was the order of the day.
It had been anticipated from some ludicrously optimistic quarters that the leadership would get a rough ride from delegates.
But, with the notable exception of them being handed their posteriors over secret courts, it went not with a bang but a whimper.
Even that was mere grandstanding, however well intentioned, because we all know it's the Tories driving the legislation through and neither they nor anyone else give a damn what the Lib Dems say about anything.
Incidentally if you are wondering why Labour has not been mentioned in this rolecall of mendacity it is not for any partisan reason.
When you have a party claiming moral outrage over the G4S Olympic debacle and decrying the incompetence of the firm which it handed multimillion-pound contracts to run prisons and immigration detention centres, then when that party appoints the SAME firm to provide the security at its conference in Manchester, there's not much more to say.
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