Just how low can 'His Highness' go?

This column has had cause before to reflect on the foibles of this septic isle, and its parasites in chief the Windsor clan, when it comes to human rights abusers and the outrageously wealthy.

Now, some have uncharitably described the egregious ensemble of inbreds as fickle fly-by-nights and fairweather friends melting away as totally as "la neiges d'antan" as soon as a guillotine or a war crimes tribunal hoves into view.

But such fallacies and outrageous slurs must be rebutted with the utmost vigour. When it comes to ichor-stained blue bloods they are loyal to a fault.

Fresh from disappointing the republican population of Britain after reports of him swinging from a rope in central London proved to be only partially accurate, this week saw the re-emergence of Airmiles Andy - although presumably he's grounded these days now that he's lost his job as Britain's "trade envoy."

He was back to his schmoozing best at the meet and greet with Indonesian president and war criminal Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono at Buck House.

Yudhoyono, you will no doubt be aware, was a senior officer in the Indonesian military under Suharto and therefore responsible for the mass slaughter of civilians in East Timor, Aceh province and West Papua.

As such he certainly fits the criteria with which the poncing prince usually seems to select his chums.

Now the churlish may suggest that the playboy potentate was taking the opportunity to cosy up to yet another tyrant behind the back of his more established main squeeze, President Ilham Aliyev of Azerbaijan.

Not true - this is just a minor dalliance, a mere flirtation if you will. Like the star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet it emerged that despite adversity Andy has not forsaken his true love.

He may not be able to get taxpayer-funded jaunts out there anymore but Andy still coquettishly twinkles his baby blues at his old mucker the Turkic torturer Aliyev from afar.

Now most people would distance themselves from a brutal despot like a BBC executive from Jimmy Savile, but not our fearless regent in waiting.

As a fool returns to his folly as does a dog to its vomit.

Even after he was forced to quit his publicly bank-rolled junket job last year over an awkward incident involving his bosom pal Jeffrey Epstein being jailed for underage sex offences, it appears that Andy took four taxpayer-funded trips abroad in the space of eight weeks, including an unexplained detour on a private jet to… you guessed it, Azerbaijan!

Then in January he took a jaunt to Davos where we, his loyal subjects, had the privilege of paying around £13,000 for his eight-bedroom ski chalet. Gawd Bless you Sir, it's an honour to be bled dry by you!

The Daily Heil noted: "In between attending a reception for UK businessmen and six hours on the ski slopes, Andrew held a meeting with president Aliyev."

Where did he find the time? Such tireless dedication to the cause of lining his pockets is truly humbling to behold.

It appears that, as the aforementioned ill-fated Montague and Capulet had Friar Laurence as an abetter and go-between, Andy and Aliyev have ambassador Peter Bateman.

Bateman attended Buck House this week to brief the errant HRH on the goings-on in the dictatorship, presumably skipping over all that pesky torture, brutality and state oppression stuff, cos no-one's really interested in that are they?

And speaking of obscurantism and a marked capacity to blithely ignore the evidence before your eyes, William Hague has been busy this week, and not just kow-towing to Yudhoyono, following which he noted: "Indonesia's path from dictatorship to democracy alongside growing prosperity has become an important example to the world."

What example would that be exactly? Savage suppression of dissent? A blatant contempt for democracy?

Not content with this Hague also held a pow-wow with Israeli Defence Minister Ehud Barak during which they discussed - surprise, surprise - Iran and its attempts to obtain nuclear weapons while conveniently skirting around the fact that both Britain and Israel are armed to the teeth with the bloody things.

It was revealed today that the Foreign Office had spent £10,000 on the upkeep of a stuffed anaconda in its offices. They really do have a thing for cold-blooded killers, don't they?