You will be prepared To work unsocial hours, All the hours God, in his wisdom, gives, And then some. You will be content With the most minimum of wages. You will have your own transport. You will have a clean driving licence, A TV licence, A dog licence. You will not have, alas, A licence to print money But I will.
You will be of clean Non-hirsute appearance. You will be humble, And relentlessly obliging. A uniform will be provided
Which will be worn at all times Except if drowning.
You will be happy with us, I will see to that.
About the poet: Dave Hall started writing poetry after breaking his back and suffering from depression. He now tutors students with disabilities and hopes to become a mathematics teacher.