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Apply online. Get shortlisted. Buy a suit. Bullshit your
way through the interview using non-sequitur
as a route to saying nothing to contradict the fake CV.
Bingo. Buy a car. Bye bye buses. Buy into the lie
that the Arms-length Management Organisation
you are now local manager for is not a job creation
scheme for cowboy builders. Take your first bribe.
Buy a bigger car. Wear hi-viz. Pretend to drive a JCB
for the photo op with the housing minister. Smile.
Buy a dental plan. Private healthcare. To reconcile
your conscience, buy a seat on the council. Your vote
counts. Helping local communities prosper. End quote.
Buy a flat in a tower block. Rent it out. It's on a higher
floor. That view. Those sundowns set the place on fire.
Al McClimens has just completed the MA Creative Writing programme at Sheffield Hallam University. He is also a teacher and researcher on intellectual disability matters.
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